You're hot, then you're cold. You're yes, then you're no

So, I really need to be comfortable coming out and talking about it or Im going to go nuts. Nate and I have been trying to concieve for 8 months now without success. I was starting to get concerned. Not because of the 8 months, I understand most couples it takes around a year. But a lot of people forget about my past and the whole 3 1/2 years before Nate. So, Ive been worried. I went to the Doctor on month 6, trying to see what I should do next. He told me that he thinks my issue is that I am not consistently ovulating at all and that I needed to be put on some fertility medication. So, I was prescribed Clomid 50mg. I felt great on it at first, but during my time of ovulation, I started to feel really funny. My whole lower belly started to get really big and painful and I didnt understand what was going on. The pain became so great that I went to my Doctor who hooked me up with an ultrasound. As it turned out, the Clomid worked a little TOO well and unfortunately I ended up having a mild form of what is called OHSS (Ovarian Hyper Stimulation Syndrome). Basically, I got more than I bargained for an ended up with 6 eggs being released and If these medicines stimulate the ovaries too much, the ovaries can suddenly become very swollen. Fluid can leak into the belly and chest area. And some women end up being hospitalized from it. So, I was instructed to take my temperature daily to make sure infection wasnt happening and take it easy. Finally, I got over that mess, but it also did not work. So, the Doctor prescribed me Femara. Which ironically is a breast cancer drug, but now days it is being used more to make women ovulate. I took it and felt fine, but it makes you have hot flashes(which are WEIRD) and fine, but just more frustrating more than anything. I took the Femara and went in for a follicle check on day 11 of my cycle. No response at all... Least to say, I was not happy. So, he had me take 5 more days of the Femara and then come in again. I went in again today. Either I already ovulated and missed it, or again it did not work. So, now he is talking about possibly having us go to a fertility specialist. He says we can risk just doing Clomid again because we know at least it makes me ovulate. Or I need to go to a specialist for injectables. He also mentioned getting tubes checked and even IUI treatment. Im having a hard time because the only thing I want in my life is to be a mom. The only thing Ive ever done has been caring for children. Daycare, Nanny, teachers aide, after school programs, etc. Its really hard because I love the kids I work with so much. But now I am honestly considering finding a new job. Not seriously. But Ive thought about it. Its really hard dealing with this stress, and then the disappointment. Then, going in the next day to work and love someone elses child that is not your own. I know it sounds silly. But thats whats been up with me lately. Sorry if some of you feel it is TMI. But Nate and I really want to be parents and I just really wanted to talk about it. Getting off soap box now.