Why I want to be a mom...

People often tell me things like "whats the rush" or " you are so young". I understand. I am young. There is no rush. But for someone like me, its hard to face those words. This is the one thing Ive wanted in my life more than anything else. There are many reasons why I want to be a mom.

I want to be a mom because...

• When I was a little girl, my favorite thing was my water baby doll. When I was in kindergarten, I took her everywhere with me. I took her out to recess and played on the swing with her. I rocked her to sleep, hid her in the library to take a "nap" and went back to my school work during the day. I have ALWAYS wanted to be a mother. Always.

• I want to play games with my kids. I want to be the cool mom that does fun things with them like make tents in the living room and watch movies with popcorn and candy. I want to build forts WITH them. And show them how to properly have a pillow fight.

 

• I want to teach them about fairytales. I want to give them a sense of fun and magic in their life. To believe in Santa. To believe in fairies. To believe in themselves.

• I want to be the mom that throws Halloween parties for all the kids in the neighborhood. I want make cookies with them, carve pumpkins, have awesome games, and fun decorations.

• I want to make things for them. Like crochet blankets, hats, and headbands. Sew them dolls and bears. I want to give them things that they can love and they will always remember.

• I want to teach them about the gospel and the wonderful atonement that has blessed my life. I want to help them understand how important it is to live a life close to the Savior and how much he loves them.

 

• I know its silly. But I want to wake up in the middle of the night and rock them back to sleep. I look forward to the weeks, days, months, and years of getting 2-3 hours of sleep a night at maximum. I know it will be hard. But I want that. Nothing in this life is worth anything unless it is hard. Thats what makes it worth it. Because even though you have to wake up the middle of the night to feed that colicy baby that just wont sleep. You also get to hold him in your arms and sing to him as you rock. You get to hold him close and tell him that you love him. You get to smell, hug, and love that little baby in your arms with all your heart. And I want that.

• I want to be a mom because...I want to love them. Because I already do love them. Because I would give anything in this whole world to have them in my arms. So no, there is no rush. Yes, there is time. But I would do anything in this whole world just to have my baby with me, right now. And when you get a small taste of being a mother for a short while, it makes you want it that much more.Whether it takes horrible drugs that make me gain weight and moody. Or taking my blood. Or giving me shots that hurt like crazy. Or going to an adoption agency and paying thousands of dollars in court fees and lawyers and flying overseas just to see them with no guarantees for a few months. Or being poked and prodded in a doctors office. And paying thousands and thousands of dollars for IUI or IVF. If it means that I get to have that baby, I will do whatever it takes. Just to love them...just have them here with me...

 

And I know, some day I will.